I can't quite remember why the psychiatrists got involved with ME in the first place.
As I recall, they were bored out of their brains after spendng to much times saying, and what do you think yourself, as that is the first sentence any psychiatrist or psychologist learns in TALK land.
The trouble is, they wanted to get some attention themselves. Now they could become a cereal killer, they could buy a football club in Greenland or they could buy a gun and start shooting clay pigeons.
But doing so would more likely loose them a hand, their medical licence or their jobs.
They could obviously do something outrages, like going for a swim or a run, but that was too much exercise so they had to think of something else.
Something to GET the attention of all hemales and shemales and females in the world. You see, they had lost the war against MS, they had lost the war against Shell Shocked soldiers so well, boredom really.
I told you before, I was thinking, yes really, I was thinking of training to become a psychiatrist but when I went for a job interview, it quickly became clear that there were no people in the UK and Australia, or anywhere else for that matter, in need of a psychiatrist.
So my dream of becoming the modern day Mr Fried went out of the window before it had really started.
Then I thought of becoming Frasier Crane, you know that good mental health morning everybody guy who only keeps his feet on the floor as Eddy, his personal manager, yes, his father’s dog, and Marty, a retired man, his own father, keep him well sane.
So again, a psychiatrist who has turned away from mental health doctoring as even in the States, were it was fashionable for stars to have your own dog, personal trainer and shrink.
But Frasier had to turn to the radio as even there in Good old America, all mental health problems were extinguished, finito and non existent anymore.
Yes I know, that Bush fellow is trying his best to get as many people back to the psychiatrists as he can.
First he sends healthy blokes to the gulf to play in the sand to go look for oil, and when they come back and have been so badly injured that they can’t fight anymore, you just kick them out off the army.
Now I read in one of your papers that that is quite fashionable in the UK as well.
You go there as a fit bloke, you are 19 and you loose your leg, and then the Army says bye bye. They give you a bit of money, a bit like a drop in the ocean, and off you go.
Dump the wounded is something you are not allowed to say, but that is precisely what happens.
A bit like people with ME. Dump them in a black hole of almost no money at all and then you say we are after secondary gains.
So I had to think of BIG fat cars, LAMBO’S and FERRARI’S and so, that you get if you say you are ill. But apparently that is not the case.
Now the fact is that after all the mental health people, sorry, all the people with mental health issues were cured, or did a runner, the psycho’s turned their attention to us, the ME people.
They thought it is not about me, it is about me. Simple and great trick.
You then get a big eraser and erase the two letters and then deny it exists.
You go to Drowning street and other places and they say, yeah, that sounds a lot better. No ME. BT me.
But even so, I understand there's to be a new psycho project next year in which we see one of the CBT professors as a young man, playing a sort of Doctor Carter from ER and chasing sick people out of the building.
GET-ing that is.
I daresay he will then turn his attention on his own lot and feed the psychologists to the dog as they are now getting malingering signs as well, opposing his masterwork and fast track to eternal CBT hood.
And then they will make a greater nuisance of themelves in various medical journals as they will be advertising for other neurological illnesses that are not understood and that we can’t cure.
But even that won’t be enough so they have already started to turn their attention to cancer, diabetes and other so called prestigious diseases in an attempt to ruin other people’s lives, just as they have done with ME patients for decades as they used the Hippocritic oat meal discount pack available only to delusionists.
Instead of the Hippopotumus one written in the dark ages by a Greek bloke who was known for using his brain.
And so the delusionists thought in a rare moment of enlightening thunder, we go back in time as well, so instead of using something flashy that will be easy to use and so, we go back to throwing stones and spitting fire.
NICE guidelines inspired by their delusional friends in a nuttershell or is it shellshock???
The big whopper from the GOBSART people wrote a letter to a newspaper about ME and he called it Chronic Fatigue.
So you see, they are really state of the quaker and oat meals.
But when you say State of the Art in CBT wonderland they think of Ian Banks and one of his books.
Apparently that is a collection of short stories spanning only three years (1987-1989) yet containing only eight stories, three of which are set in the Culture universe, a sort of Hollywood for CBT BLOKEYS.
And therein lies the problem.
You see, not only did Mr Banks not know that in 365 days you can write and publish at least 365 stories about CBT, with cut and paste, and other magical tricks invented by the Gates brother, and you just change the date, send it to another magazine and off you go.
On the way to the Nobel prize for Collateral Damage.
And then the real problem starts if you just have a look at the name of the stories.
Scratch, Cleaning Up and Odd Attachment.
And the very interesting thing is, those stories are spanning or something from 1987 to 1989. So it only took the collusionists a year or so to read the book and come up with their own version.
We all know what it is called, yes, you are right, the Oxford criteria for archaeology. The first chapter was the cleaning up part, so GET rid of ME and with GET that is simple.
If you could walk before this torture treatment, even with great difficulty, after GET you can’t anymore. So bedbound and out of sight. Mission one accomplished.
Mission two was to detach us from our “Odd Attachment” to ME as that is how they define ME.
Yes, you are right again, in delusional minds or words that is called false illness beliefs. And then the ME world doesn’t exist anymore, we don’t have a neuro disease, we don’t have a psychiatric illness, we have nothing at all, and that is called malingering as we all know to well.
Now if you use that investigative technique, available to 6 year olds, but not to GOBSART and other BLOKEYS with a professor hat, you will find the most amazing things.
Let me just quote you a few things about malingering and you will see that the CBT BLOKEYS don’t even know their own job or profession.
It is that amazing.
Just read and enjoy and be horrified at the same time. Gobsmacking bedtime reading, so here it comes.
"Malingering is a deliberate behavior for a known external purpose. It is not considered a form of mental illness or psychopathology. Pure malingering in which the individual falsifies all symptoms.”
“A medical condition is fabricated. When this occurs, the patient claims to have a series of non-existent problems.”
“The underlying motivations may differ among such persons. There may be individuals who falsify their symptoms because they believe that it is inevitable that such symptoms will arise later.
For example, an individual may state that they have symptoms of infection when not present, while they can receive compensation, because they believe that they will likely develop the infection at some future point.”
So, we don’t have ME but we are all afraid, and we all know that we will get it at some stage, so we might as well start now, many years before it actually hits us. Now how delusional must you be to …..
But, there is more and now comes the truly AMAZING part.
Yes, they can actually amaze themselves even though they don’t realise it but how can you if you only listen to yourself.
But have a read.
“People who malinger almost never accept psychiatric referral, and the success of such consultations is minimal.”
So there is NO POINT whatsoever in sending us for malingering treatment, also know as CBT, but still they collect ELEVEN MILLION, and they are awaiting another onehundredandeighty, even before they know how to play the game of darts vader. Just like they have done with ME.
And at this stage I started to be sick. You see, we have paid these blokeys during five, or god knows how many years to do medical training, and at the moment we still pay them to come up with this ludicrous, no other word available in foggy land I am afraid, ideas.
Now the interesting thing is, after reading this Banks thing, I also realise why it is such a mess in my mind.
We all have dual core processors, and I as a special bloke, have not your ordinary form of RAM business in there, no I have a big fat V10 eight liter DODGE RAM SRT.
But even that one was no match for Mister ME and his little buggers.
And this Banks man has also delivered the explanation why our RAM is such a mess.
You see, we GET malingering signals from our muscles crying out in pain, and our brains send signals back saying bugger off, your false illness beliefs are not getting access to our almighty mind, and then all hell brakes loose.
Firecrackers, nail bombs and suicide bombers are being send along our nerve paths and spinal cord to our mother boards and well, we all know the result. Total Armageddon and a total eclipse of the meltdown.
The result is worse than Harrisburg, Chernobyl and the Mururoa Islands put together.
But as we all know, that is just an illusion. A malingering illusion because my mind is no different from how it was and I can still run a marathon.
The only minute detail is, I just don’t know yet.
Too many pain signals and radioactive ME material is being thrown around the place to give me any chance of a normal life. But thanks to our beloved friends at least I know I am just imagining things.